Mummy, Mum, Friend: Can you be all three?

Posted on May 9th, 2012

The Transition from Mummy to Mum

So exciting, those first times they call out “Mummy”. I was so proud to wear the badge of “Mummy”. To be loved and needed by a child is a privilege and a challenge. Looking back I can’t tell you quite how I progressed from Mummy to Mum. I guess it was a natural progression somewhere towards the end of their infant school years. There wasn’t a day when my children suddenly decided my name was changing; it was more of a case of the odd “Mum” slipping into conversation, particularly in the presence of friends which then lapsed back to Mummy when we were alone. I understood this need to feel like the “cool dude” amongst friends and made nothing of it, cringing at the memories of battles with my own Mum over the name.A Mummy moment with my triplets

Learning to let go

Mummy is a safe, caring, loving and all protecting person. Mum is no less caring and loving but provides more freedom and scope within carefully agreed guidelines. There is so much bound up and implied in the two names to both child and mother. Moving from one to the other I do feel is a part of growing up and a transition from young child to pre teen years.  I have chosen not to hold my children back but to move into my “Mum” role and embrace a new relationship with my children.

My youngest children are triplets age 8, for them I still swing between Mummy and Mum and I relish these Mummy moments knowing they will disappear in time. 

Moving from Mum to Friend

I like to think I am a friend to all my children, we share a laugh and a joke, respect one another and enjoy each other’s company; however that friendship does evolve as they grow up. My eldest has just turned 14 and while I have no ambition to be like or replace his school friends, I now see we have a lovely adult bond developing. I am still “Mum”, I still have the last say over what is and is not permitted, but his scope is growing and his relationship with me and his Dad maturing.

Keeping on their Wavelength

For me, staying in touch with their life stage is important, embracing their music and enjoying their activities really helps us to build our developing adult friendship. My eldest children are all boys and they can be a bit of a closed book, but I still like to spend a little time with them individually, ask them about school and friends and do a few things together like a bike ride, a walk or just some time surfing in the sea together on a family beach trip. My eldest may be taller and stronger than me, and the oldest 3 out run me, but I still like to join in with them and not watch from the sidelines. 

 

Ice skating with the children at EdenCycling over Bodmin Moor with Ally on his BirthdayPony trekking as a family on holiday


Time stands still for no one, I plan to enjoy every stage of motherhood and embrace the next. None of us know what is round the corner in life, but having my children mature into my adult friends of choice is a great place to be heading.